I have a car!

A check list of the many challenges of negotiating Lilongwe’s roads:

Lethal mini buses wrapped regularly around trees – CHECK

3km of road between residential housing and the town centre, fraught with danger from angry drivers, brakeless cars and zebra crossings that faded in 1910? CHECK

Push bike taxis with poor old dudes who make you get off and (quite right too) walk up the hills? CHECK

Massive hyenas roaming the streets at night waiting for a tasty two-legged morsel to pass by for a midnight snack? CHECK

An ancient law dating back to British rule that forbids anyone to walk around past 10pm - originally introduced to keep the ‘local’ population from organising rebellions against the Brits but now ironically used to pump cash out of hapless white peeps? CHECK

And so my friends, the time had come to buy a car. I am now the proud owner of a super hot, 1996, 3 door, white Pajero. OK, so it has various hoses under the bonnet missing (so what?), a non working fan/AC (that’s what windows are for) and bald-as- my-granddaddy’s-head-was tyres.

But you know what? Who cares?! Who cares when the COF test here, the UK’s equiv to the MOT or Australia’s version of the rego check, is a cursory glance at the car, an extra couple of thousand kwacha (£8), a nod of the head and a quick signature? Done!

And Oh The Freedom! Hello Again Independence! I’m now gal about town, zooming around in my little 4x4 looking like a proper Mzungo. The only issue now are the very frequent police road blocks (a stash of cash can come in handy I hear) and convincing everyone who gets in my car to wear a seatbelt, which is clearly not the fashion in Lilongwe.

Be good, stay safe and give way to white Pajeros my friends.

Megs x

PS: Any suggestions for names gratefully considered…